Al Murray: Why Does Everyone Hate the English?
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The French hate us more than the Germans

Sacre bleu! – the French hate us more than the Germans do.

Despite politicians’ attempts to build bridges between us and our closest neighbours almost one in three French adults still dislike us immensely.

Among the bugbears the French have about the English are the fact we drive on the left, are obsessed with the Royal family – and apparently can’t cook.

The French also dislike the fact we are obsessed with tea, we think we’re the best at everything, and pour ketchup all over our food.

Researchers polled 700 French adults alongside 700 Germans to discover who hates the English the most - and it transpired just 15 per cent of Germans felt as passionately as the French.

TV channel HISTORY® carried out the study in conjunction with Al Murray’s new show ‘Why Does Everyone Hate the English?’, which starts tonight at 9pm.

    Al Murray said: “It’s always an eye opener to find out why you might annoy someone – often it’s the things you like about yourself, like drinking tea. But all this shows is that the people next door are always the ones you’re most likely to have wound up the wrong way. And when it comes to winding up the French we’ve been at it for a thousand years, the Germans are the Johann-come-lately on this one.”

    Researchers found 15 per cent of Germans also hate the English – citing hooligans that follow our football teams around Europe as the number one gripe.

    Others don’t like the fact we binge drink, sing songs loudly in the street and have no intention to learn any other languages.

    Germans also dislike the fact we always get sunburnt on holiday, and expect everyone to speak OUR language.

    The study also found the French and the Germans think the English are arrogant.

    Researchers also polled 1,200 English adults and found we are generally proud to have some of the traits other nationalities despise.

    And three quarters are proud to live in Britain, although nearly eight in 10 do wish the English behaved a little better when visiting other countries.

    But it’s not all bad news, as there are many French people who like the English, with 36 per cent enjoying our politeness and good manners.

    A third of the French think the English produce great music, and three in 10 like our sense of humour.

    And while a fifth of Germans think we need to lighten up a little, 33 per cent do like the fact we can laugh at ourselves.Al Murray added: “It’s a relief to see there are some things that the French and Germans like about the English, and humour plays a strong part in that. So there is hope for English people in Europe – just remember to have a good laugh, and make sure you don’t drive on the left.”

      Al Murray: Why Does Everyone Hate the English: Trailer

      Top 20 Things the French Hate About the English

      1.    We drive on the left
      2.    We are obsessed with the Royal family
      3.    Football hooliganism
      4.    We can't cook
      5.    We expect everyone else to speak English
      6.    We’re obsessed with tea
      7.    We think we're the best at everything
      8.    Why we voted for Brexit
      9.    Arrogance
      10.    Wearing socks with sandals
      11.    Our lack of variety with foods
      12.    Put ketchup on everything
      13.    Beer bellies
      14.    The fact the English  seem to have no intention to learn any other language
      15.    Our obsession with football
      16.    Unruly children
      17.    The British take/interpretation on foreign cuisine
      18.    Brits singing songs very loudly (and drunkenly!) in the streets
      19.    No style
      20.    There are too many regional accents to keep up with

      First look

      Top 20 Things Germans Hate About the English

      1.    Football hooliganism
      2.    We drive on the left
      3.    Binge drinking
      4.    Why we voted for Brexit
      5.    We expect everyone else to speak English
      6.    Brits singing songs very loudly (and drunkenly!) in the streets
      7.    We are obsessed with the Royal family
      8.    The fact the English seem to have no intention to learn any other language
      9.    Arrogance
      10.    We can't cook
      11.    Our lack of variety with foods
      12.    We think we're the best at everything
      13.    We are over-polite UNTIL we have some drinks
      14.    We have subtle humour nuances
      15.    Wearing socks with sandals
      16.    Our obsession with football
      17.    Obsessed with tea
      18.    We eat chips with everything
      19.    The fact we always sunburn on holiday
      20.    How much we moan

      Top 20 Things the English Hate About Themselves

      1.    We expect everyone else to speak English
      2.    Binge drinking
      3.    Football hooliganism
      4.    The fact we have no intention to learn any other language
      5.    Why we voted for Brexit
      6.    How England collapses every time it snows as if you didn't realise it would happen every year
      7.    We queue for everything
      8.    Brits singing songs very loudly (and drunkenly!) in the streets
      9.    Talking about the weather too much
      10.    Our inability to cope with hot weather
      11.    Beer bellies
      12.    Obsessed with tea
      13.    We complain a lot
      14.    Unruly kids
      15.    Saying 'sorry' too much
      16.    How much we moan
      17.    Arrogance
      18.    We drive on the left
      19.    Wearing socks with sandals
      20.    Eat chips with everything