The Darkest Day in Human History

It’s all a bit of a blur. March 25th, 2015 is just an indistinct mess of tears, wailing and the renting of garments. I think we all remember where we were when we heard about Zayn leaving One Direction. I was outside Zayn’s house, where you’ll find me most evenings.

Except on this occasion I was crying more than usual. Since leaving the band, Zayn has initiated a successful solo career, while I have endured several prominent tattoos being surgically altered to reflect his departure. Thanks a lot Zayn.